{"id":416,"date":"2020-07-21T13:58:42","date_gmt":"2020-07-21T20:58:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/?p=416"},"modified":"2020-07-21T13:58:44","modified_gmt":"2020-07-21T20:58:44","slug":"youll-live-sheesh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/?p=416","title":{"rendered":"You’ll live! Sheesh…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"
They’ll never wilt.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou Won\u2019t be Poisoned\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n


This was a standard comment from my mother when we asked what was happening for dinner. \u201coffer it up\u201d was another regular response when any questions were posed about meals, but I\u2019ll leave that for another time. The conversation went like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • Kid: What’s for dinner?<\/em><\/li>
  • Mom: Food, some of which you have had before and I know you can tolerate it because I have seen you eat it with my own eyes.. Yes, I have. Don’t look at me like that.<\/em><\/li>
  • Kid: Uh, really? I was hoping for a different meal, all of which I have decided ten minutes before dinnertime. <\/em><\/li>
  • Mom: Well, that wasn’t on the menu.<\/em> (gesturing to the menu we had with daily dinners listed. Anyone was welcome to go ahead and cross off what was listed and make whatever dinner they wanted for the family. Yeah, that didn’t happen very often)<\/li>
  • Kid: Well, I’m not sure…<\/em><\/li>
  • Mom: You won’t be poisoned. <\/em><\/li>
  • Kid: *shrug* OK.<\/em><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cYou won\u2019t be poisoned\u201d. I sometimes wonder what she meant by this, aside from the obvious assurance that the grim reaper was not going to visit us at the dinner table no matter how dark our teenage minds were. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Part of me thinks she was saying, \u201cGood grief, what do you kids expect? Eat it! You\u2019ll be fine! It might not be exactly what you were looking for, but for goodness\u2019 sake, I can\u2019t hit it out of the park every evening. And besides, I’m not going to kill you with this.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Exasperation? Resignation? Exhaustion? Little of each? Not really sure. She always said it in a kind way – rarely angry, usually just outraged or, more likely, impatient and by 6PM on a rainy Thursday, rather done with the kids. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Or it\u2019s possible she was saying, \u201cTrust me. I know what I\u2019m doing here. I wouldn\u2019t put you kids in danger. You\u2019re the most precious thing in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Nah. Option “A’ for sure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u201cYou Won\u2019t be Poisoned\u201d This was a standard comment from my mother when we asked what was happening for dinner. \u201coffer it up\u201d was another regular response when any questions were posed about meals, but I\u2019ll leave that for another time. The conversation went like this: Kid: What’s for dinner? Mom: Food, some of which […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,12,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-food","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=416"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/416\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":419,"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/416\/revisions\/419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dontcrowdthepan.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}