The raw ingredients.

Lucky. That’s all I can come up with as to how on earth I made a pie that tasted like that. Perhaps I should explain a bit. It’s rare that I make something and when I have a bite I think, “Holy cow, that’s way better than I expected.” Such was my response from my most recent pie. I make it sound like I bake pies on a regular basis. They are a bit of a rarity, but after this I’m thinking I may have to do it again.

The pastry recipe came from The Best Recipe cookbook, from Cooks Illustrated. Simple, quick. Food processor, cold butter and shortening, a few tablespoons of ice cold water and some time to rest in the fridge.

Here’s a tidbit: the pastry was made with some special, possibly illegal, butter that my sister-in-law sourced for me. That does sound strange, and it may sound like I’m a conspiracy theorist, but I can assure you that up until very recently, in Canada, it was true. I believe things have changed somewhat but until a couple of years ago it was the law that all butter in Canada had to have a fat content of at least 80% and that all butter had to be made from pooled milk. As in, if you were a dairy farmer and you wanted to make your own butter with a higher fat content or from a specific type of cow (Holstein, Jersey…) you were not allowed to do it. It was against the law. As a consequence all butter was 80% fat and really rather boring. 

When I was a kid there were two types of butter in the store: Salted and unsalted. A decade or more ago they added organic butter for a total of three types, but that was about it. No European Style butter. No butter with sea salt. No ghee, no ability to have any say whatsoever in the type of butter, except with or without salt. Like our eggs. White, brown and free-range. That’s ti.

Of course you could buy butter from New Zealand if you wanted to. Or the USA. It was in specialty shops and it cost $14. For a half-pound. More expensive than beef tenderloin at the butcher. Nothing like a little import tax of like 200% to dissuade the casual cook.

But somehow someone is making unsalted 84% milk-fat butter and selling it for less than a king’s ransom. And they are doing it in Canada, so the rules must have changed at some point.

I used some of this 84% butter for the pastry. Amazing how I can go from baking to supply management in a couple of paragraphs.

That was a segue. Back to the pie.

Regardless of the butter, I think the key, really, to an epic apple pie is (big surprise here) the apples. The recipe called for Granny Smith and something a bit sweeter, like McIntosh, but I used transparents. We have a transparent apple tree in our backyard. It’s probably as old as the house – so pushing 100. The apples are almost inedible off the tree, but the flavour for a pie is amazing. Apparently they’re great for applesauce, too. The ripen in mid-July to mid-August, so now is the ultimate apple-pie making season.

Finished Product. I need a little less time, I think

My sister-in-law was in town for an impromptu visit and I managed to get the pie into the oven and out in time for it to cool so everyone could have a slice. It was a big 9-inch pie. It lasted a few hours and then was all gone. 

The ultimate compliment for a chef (and timid baker) is to have the food demolished before you have an opportunity to put leftovers away in the fridge.

OK, the last two.

Last piece.

Who gets the last piece? Why is it often such a fight? I know I shouldn’t do it, but often when it’s offered to me – that final piece of sushi, the last cookie on the plate… 

I take it. 

I mean, someone has to, why not me? I suppose that the “you snooze, you lose” mindset that drives these impulsive decisions is a bit childlike… But if it’s a tasty morsel, I do find it hard to resist. 

For these macarons, I really, really had to work at not having them both. 

It would have been nice, though, if my kids (who gleefully took one each) appreciated my sacrifice. 

Why bother? Why not Uber Eats every day?

I was going to post an entry about the classic Italian Nonna, and how traditionally they cook up a storm in the kitchen, and how it draws everyone together in a big, happy family.

But I don’t have a Nonna. I’m about as Italian as a pint of Guinness. Well, technically more Bass or Boddingtons, but my point stands. One of my grandmothers died when I was very young, and the other was as British as you could get. Her specialty was pastry. My God, she could make a pie.

But I don’t want to speculate (yet) on why she worked so hard to make such lovely pies and meals for us. Perhaps it was because she had some pressing need to feed her grandchildren, even though she was in rather poor health (Measles when she was 3 and she lost an eye; the Second World War, when they levelled Birmingham because it was an industrial centre; tuberculosis, which was why she really struggled to hug us, as she only had one lung and was rather frail – God, it’s a miracle she lasted as long as she did). Given her history, she didn’t need to lift a finger for us and we would have been ok with that. She had her great British reserve and never berated us with, ‘eat, eat, eat!’ as far as I can remember. The food was always just… There. Her cooking was fine, but the memory of her pastry can bring me directly to a backyard in Salmon Arm in the summertime with a slice of cherry or apple pie ready for my appetite.

Speaking personally, why do I spend so much effort cooking for my family? Here’s a secret – when I’m cooking alone I can barely get a baked potato on the table. For the family, I’ll pull out all the stops. Or most of them, anyway.

But why?

I have no clear idea, but as I have noted before, we all have to eat. More than that, though, I’m a middle child. They say middle children are pleasers. It’s in my nature to want to make sure that everything is OK and that everyone is fed. Certainly the dinner table is one of the last areas where a family can safely gather and talk. Even if no one wants to really get into issues, most people are able to put down their phones and make small talk for the duration of eating a meal. I really celebrate that and as much as possible, dinner is on the table at 6. The only other place that you have great conversations is in the car.

Further to my style of being a pleaser, my mom just wasn’t that interested in cooking. She had an immaculately planned kitchen (still does – Tupperware everywhere, everything labelled) and she always knew what we were eating. She just wasn’t that enthused with the prospect of putting dinner on the table every night. My sister was off doing her thing; as was my brother. I was the only one regularly around the house and my foods class in grade 8 along with a couple of years being a busboy at a restaurant meant that all of sudden the cooking fell to me. I didn’t mind. Heck, I was eating it anyway. What is more, my dad always appreciated a good meal, and he is incredibly capable, but he doesn’t cook much.

One more thing: One of my aunts, one who is endlessly kind and the sort of person who will be remembered by all as loveliness personified, told me that if I wanted to impress a quality woman I had to learn how to cook. That advice has helped me greatly in keeping my wife blissfully unaware at just how out of my league she really is.

Come back here! You need more courgette!

Having a neighbour who has a zucchini plant is so commonplace that even referring to it as a cliché seems strange, as everyone knows someone who has a zucchini plant. Or, I suppose, everyone knows someone who planted zucchini and ended up with too many to count and had to give them away. 

They’re incredibly productive. Personally, I have never actually grown a zucchini plant, but I do have cucumbers out there and I did grow a pumpkin one year, accidentally – that’s poorly-rotted compost for you.

I’m sure there is some sort of a joke about a neighbour with a zucchini plant. I did Google a few, but most were strange puns and had to do with ‘squash’. 

Regardless, the near-perfect specimen above was given to us by a friend. she also gave us a yellow one. 

I bet it’ll be amazing. Seriously. I’m going to shred it and mix it with ground turkey and some herbs and spices and make turkey burgers. The recipe is from Jerusalem and it is a true family favourite. 

There is more to this blog post, though. More than a snicker about yet another zucchini.

I remember back to when I used to assist a food photographer. On shoot days we would have a kitchen full of food. When the food stylists shopped they made sure we had enough of every ingredient for any and all eventualities. Often we would be shooting a product – packaging or menu items – and we would have more than enough of that, too.  

At the end of every shoot day we would put together a bunch of bags of groceries – for the clients as well as for the assistant (me). The photographer would take his share of the spoils, too.

I remember John, the photographer, commenting on how the perceived value of the gift of food was far beyond its actual value. I am always amazed at the response from people when a gift of food is offered.

Even if it is a much-maligned zucchini.

Grilled zucchini, zucchini bread… Those turkey burgers… And it’ll taste even better because of the gift, no question.

I’m on the left

This is one of those great photos (not a great photo, but bear with me, here) where the subject is straightforward but the setting is a little odd.

My mom took this photo. I’m on the left. Middle of three kids.

My mother didn’t do anything in half-measures, although the other Catholic families in the neighbourhood certainly had more children than she did. She was one of 5, and she had three kids. The Cruickshanks had 9 kids, I think, and the Mahonys had 9 as well. My mom used to comment that Laura Cruickshank was three times the mother she was, mathematically speaking.

But no half measures. Look at the shelf behind us lovely children.

What the heck? Enough pickles to feed a baseball stadium on a busy Sunday afternoon.

One year, my mom decided to make dill pickles, so she made about a dozen 2-gallon jars. We had a lot of pickles.

Thankfully, they were rather good, but I would be lying if I relished (ha! that’s a pun, that is) the prospect of eating even my own share of dozens of Kosher Dills.

In the ensuing years I have learned to love pickles again. But we only buy them one small jar at a time.

As for not doing things in half-measures, that mindset has, unfortunately, rubbed off on me. I have 150lbs of roma tomatoes ordered for sauce at the end of the month.

Happiness on a plate

Facts about avocado toast:

  1. It’s tasty.
  2. Apparently only Millennials eat it. (and I’m no Millennial. Gen-X, baby. Just like Douglas Coupland.)
  3. It has an appalling amount of discussion and furor surrounding it, given that it’s avocado smeared on a piece of toast. From Nigella Lawson being pilloried for offering the recipe in her TV show to a hapless Australian millionaire suggesting that Millennials could afford a house if only they could stop buying so much avocado toast. (see item #2) There have been more headlines about avocado toast than probably any single other breakfast item in the last decade. Even a condominium complex was giving away free avocado toast for a year with the successful purchase of a condo. That made headlines. How, I’m not sure, but feel free to Google away.
  4. There is a secret to good avocado toast. Well, I’m sure there are several secrets, but the one that stands out for me comes from Trader Joes in the form of a jar of ‘Everything but the Bagel’ seasoning.

I live in the Trader Joe’s wasteland known as ‘Canada’ and you can buy the seasoning online from Amazon. I guess that some guy goes and clears the shelves at Trader Joes and then puts the jars up on Amazon. Price for a single jar, shipped to me in Canada? $30.

Yeah, all of a sudden it looks like you could buy a house in lieu of daily avocado toast.

But if you have a pal in St. Louis who regularly visits Trader Joes, and who knows you can cram 5 jars of ‘Everything but the Bagel’ seasoning in a fixed-price USPS box, well, then, all of a sudden you can have avocado toast AND make your downpayment.

Super simple to make. The only caveat is making sure you have a decent, ripe, avocado. The joke about ripe avocados:

Cook: Are you ripe?

Avocado: Not yet.

Avocado: Wait.

Avocado: Wait.

Avocado: Wait.

Avocado: Wait.

Avocado: Ok, now I’m ripe.

Cook: Great!! *reaches for a knife*

Avocado: Oh, too late!

Hey, I think it’s funny, mainly because for me it’s totally true.

Regardless, this morning I had perfect avocados.

See? Perfect!

I had some really nice bread, and it was a perfect warm summer morning.

My coffee was made (saved $5 there, just in case anyone is counting, and not considering the capital cost of the espresso machine and grinder)

Toast. Bit of butter. Avocado and a generous sprinkling of the seasoning. Step back and enjoy the fact that you made, for about $2, what would cost you several times that in a restaurant or cafe.

Amazing toast (my goodness it was good) Good coffee. On a shoestring budget. Best part of making food at home – how cheap it is and how, with a bit of practice, you can make stuff that is as good or better than what you might get eating out.

Just bring the Everything sprinkles.

Didn’t last long. Even from a household where everyone eats like the proverbial condemned man, it disappeared in a hurry.

Raspberry delivery vehicle.

My mother-in-law’s (Betty’s) specialty.

Hang on. I should clarify. It’s her specialty in the same way that making most things in the kitchen is her specialty. Like her huckleberry pie, or any of a zillion other meals she has made over the years.

She makes the best French Toast. No idea how she does it, but it is definitely better than mine. Admittedly, not much of a bar to clear, but I have to make some sort of comparison. Great with raspberries, too. Especially if they are out of her garden. Lots of raspberries.

Betty is one of those cooks who pulls a bit of this, some of that…

…and makes something spectacular.

Like all of her meals, the french toast benefits from this talent. She announced she was going to make breakfast – something we try to discourage her from doing, given that she did more than her fair share of cooking while raising 4 daughters, let alone feeding yours truly every time I came to visit for the last 25 years.

However, she insisted, and I wasn’t going to stop her. Nothing like a half-hearted “Oh, there is no need” to really cement the deal. Funny how we have these conventions.

But to the french toast. Perfectly cooked – perfect consistency, super hot and exactly the right surface upon which to pile a bunch of said raspberries and a bit of maple syrup.

The only drawback was that my hungry kids move faster than I do, and by the time I looked up all the ‘extra’ pieces were long since spoken for.

Next time we’re up I’ll see what I can do about getting her into the kitchen. I’m working on my speech now… “Oh, really, no, we couldn’t ask you… Are you sure? I’ll get the eggs…”

Getting hot in here.

It’s a ton of work. I get to cook with it about two weeks out of every year and as a consequence I have very little experience in figuring out how it works. Practice makes perfect, as they say, and I’m really out of practice. What is more, every time I come back to the charcoal grill, I have forgotten *most* of what I learned the last time I cooked with it. And I like to keep things interesting by doing things like buying lump charcoal and seeing how THAT works. My wife and kids tolerate this insanity because I don’t mess things up too terribly (that often) but it is a testament to the triumph of hope over experience.

Hey, I love a challenge. A few days ago I did a brisket on the grill, and that worked out much better than expected. I’ll suggest that it was beginners’ luck and a fortuitous Google search for ‘barbecue beef brisket’ rather than any type of hard experience informing the outcome, but the family was happy and so am I. What is more is that I read all kinds of brisket horror stories and I managed to avoid all of them. It was delightful. Watch this space for the next time I toss one of them on the grill. Maybe it’ll be even better. Maybe not.

Charcoal tonight is for ribs. Here’s hoping they’ll be Ok. I expect they will, as I have had a fair amount of experience with ribs.

Regardless of the challenges, the entire process is tremendously enjoyable. Not that I have much else going on here at the lake. My daily highlights are, in no particular order: coffee. Dog walk. Book reading. Swim. Taking a few photos. Making dinner on the grill. Vacations should be like that.

That said, I’m not sure I would love it as much if it were November. 

Sage – straight from the garden.

I would love to meet the person who figured out you could eat plants. Hm. Maybe that’s a strange thing to say. How about this – I would love to meet the person who figured out that this certain plant was tasty, and that one was toxic. I should like to shake their hand for doing the heavy lifting for me. No foxglove in this household, as far as I know, although one of my kids was talking about Socrates and how he had a difficult time with hemlock. I’m no Greek philosopher, but I’ll pass, thanks.

When I go into the forest there are a few things I know I can eat – huckleberries, salmonberries, thimbleberries, saskatoon berries… Asparagus, morels… Fruit trees from long-overgrown orchards… Fiddleheads? That’s about it.

And I’m also pretty sure I can identify a pine mushroom. But in a million years I would never trust myself to eat one. My father-in-law knows his mushrooms and he did find and cut up one for me off the forest floor many years ago. It was great.

But I’m still leery. I have heard of enough horror stories about eating the wrong thing out in nature. It’s wild out there and nature doesn’t care how carefully edited your ‘eat from the wild’ book was.

And thus to the sage. This grows in our garden and I’m pretty sure even the morning glory that tries to choke it out at every turn is also edible but just not nearly as tasty, lest a spring of it end up in the soup. thankfully, the balance of plants in this area are also edible – namely the thyme on one side and the oregano on the other side… Rosemary and tarragon just down the way. I feared the sage plant was near death not too long ago. The morning glory was strangling as best it could, the cold winter obviously didn’t help, either. The leaves were nearly all gone. I did my best to not pick too many and it was quickly becoming obvious that there soon would be no more to pick. However, some regular water, warm weather, and a bit of fresh soil and we have an abundance of one of my favourite herbs.

Perfect with some wide-noodled pasta. Farfalle or the like. Butter and olive oil in a pan; cook the sage leaves until they sizzle and get crispy, hoist in a quarter-cup of roasted pine nuts, salt and pepper, toss and serve with a bit of the pasta water.

Yummy. It’s a bit of a starch overload so we don’t do it that often, but man, it’s good.

They’ll never wilt.

“You Won’t be Poisoned”


This was a standard comment from my mother when we asked what was happening for dinner. “offer it up” was another regular response when any questions were posed about meals, but I’ll leave that for another time. The conversation went like this:

  • Kid: What’s for dinner?
  • Mom: Food, some of which you have had before and I know you can tolerate it because I have seen you eat it with my own eyes.. Yes, I have. Don’t look at me like that.
  • Kid: Uh, really? I was hoping for a different meal, all of which I have decided ten minutes before dinnertime.
  • Mom: Well, that wasn’t on the menu. (gesturing to the menu we had with daily dinners listed. Anyone was welcome to go ahead and cross off what was listed and make whatever dinner they wanted for the family. Yeah, that didn’t happen very often)
  • Kid: Well, I’m not sure…
  • Mom: You won’t be poisoned.
  • Kid: *shrug* OK.

“You won’t be poisoned”. I sometimes wonder what she meant by this, aside from the obvious assurance that the grim reaper was not going to visit us at the dinner table no matter how dark our teenage minds were.

Part of me thinks she was saying, “Good grief, what do you kids expect? Eat it! You’ll be fine! It might not be exactly what you were looking for, but for goodness’ sake, I can’t hit it out of the park every evening. And besides, I’m not going to kill you with this.”

Exasperation? Resignation? Exhaustion? Little of each? Not really sure. She always said it in a kind way – rarely angry, usually just outraged or, more likely, impatient and by 6PM on a rainy Thursday, rather done with the kids.

Or it’s possible she was saying, “Trust me. I know what I’m doing here. I wouldn’t put you kids in danger. You’re the most precious thing in my life.”

Nah. Option “A’ for sure.